Main Entry: 1lis·ten
Pronunciation: \ˈli-sən\
Function: verb
1 : to pay attention to sound
2 : to hear something with thoughtful attention : give consideration
3 : to be alert to catch an expected sound
Ah HA. Okay, so when we listen, we pay attention in a thoughtful fashion and give consideration to what is being said.
How about the word obey?
Main Entry: obey
Pronunciation: \ō-ˈbā, ə-\
Function: verb
1 : to follow the commands or guidance of
2 : to conform to or comply with
intransitive verb
: to behave obediently
Interestingly enough, I think that we often confuse these two words. And when I say "we" I definitely include myself in that group. How many times have we said of an authority figure such as a boss, a president, a parent, a teacher, etc., "He just doesn't LISTEN to me!" Goodness gracious, I know I am guilty.
However, in a conversation with Michael, I have realized that oftentimes, when we have different ideas than a person with authority over us, and we have offered those opinions and they do not change anything, we accuse the person of "not listening." I never before realized how wrong this can sometimes be. Although, granted, there are lots of examples of people in authority actually not listening, but what I'm focusing on here is when the person receiving the suggestion considers it but chooses not to obey it because it is not the best choice.
Say there is a Godly, servant-leadership, fruit-of-the-spirit-bearing senior pastor out there in the world who genuinely desires to pastor his church in the direction that God is calling him and is genuinely listening to the Holy Spirit in his call to be a pastor. Regardless of how well this man or woman follows God's lead, he or she is bound to still receive criticism from well-meaning godly people who have a difference in opinion.
Now, what often happens (in my experience...even as a teacher with my students) is that people will often offer their advice or opinions to the person in authority, in this case, the senior pastor. The senior pastor, being a gracious and Godly person, will actually LISTEN to what is being said. This means that he or she carefully considers the advice or opinion. Sometimes the best ideas can come from other people! However, if the pastor prays about this and does not feel that God is calling him or her to take this piece of advice, he or she does not change things and continues going in the direction that God is calling.
This does not always happen, but many times, this pastor (or teacher, employer, etc.) is accused of "not listening" to someone, because nothing changes.
Excuse me? I think the better way of putting it is that the pastor is not OBEYING someone's advice, which is perfectly fine if he or she does not feel that is the best choice for his church (after prayerful consideration). Think about it: if we said "oh Pastor Paul isn't OBEYING what I told him. Nothing is changing" thennnn we would sound like we thought we had the right to boss around someone in a position of authority. We would sound like the ultimate butthead. Soooo instead we accuse them of not "listening" so that they sound like the bad guy and we sound like the innocent, unheard victim.
(Please keep in mind, I am not referring to specific cases when a church board/elders or others with due cause require a change from a pastor or leader, or cases where the leadership is not honorable or sensitive to God's calling. We all know there are exceptions to everything, so don't think I'm saying it's all black and white here).
When it comes down to it (and forgive me for sounding like a crotchety old person here) but we really have a problem with RESPECTING authority nowadays. It's like, yeah, he's my pastor, she's my boss, she's my teacher, but I still should be able to change things no matter what he or she thinks.
Uh no. I don't think so. I personally think if someone is in a position of authority, there is a reason he is there. Especially, if we are talking about vocational ministry. I know that my husband is a pastor because he received a calling from God and I can personally vouch for the fact that he adamantly seeks God's will for decisions in our youth ministry and in our home and family life. He is far from perfect, but I watch how seriously he takes the burden of authority that is placed upon him because of his position in the church. And I watch him actually try to listen to adults and students alike when they offer him suggestions and advice. He often asks for feedback, and listens to it.(He's not perfect. We both are actually pretty bad listeners in general, but I do see him seeking to genuinely try to listen to what others say.) However, listenng is TOTALLY different than obeying, and I know he has struggled many a time with a suggestion, deciding that even though it is a good idea, it isn't what he feels is best...which is indeed his decision to make sometimes. Does this mean he didn't listen because something didn't change? No. It means he didn't obey, and according to Webster, those are two drastically different things.
I think we all (myself included) need to reevaluate our use of the word "listen" in all walks of life with all authority figures. Respect and obedience on our part are called for in Scripture. People don't always listen, especially people in authority. But when they do, let's commend them for this and realize that while they may listen, they may not obey. And if we are being respectful, this should be okay with us. :-)
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