Life, Death, and Happiness

I have been pretty absent for the past, oh, 5 months. I love to blog. I really do. I'm not sure what happened. Well, I sorta do, actually kinda...

God proved himself faithful in a lot of the things I was writing about last August, and life continued to roll on. Michael and I decided we were ready to become parents shortly before our 2 year anniversary...and BAM!

Yep! We were elated, and almost shocked. We had been trying for several months (amidst me and all of my stress, yikes) but it never felt real once it happened.
Well, in fact, it was starting to feel real. We actually put up a blank stocking above the fireplace for the baby.

Then, we had an ultrasound at the end of November that showed us that this pregnancy wasn't turning out how we would have liked, unless I had my dates wrong (which I knew I didn't). And on December 5th, 2010,when I was 8 weeks and 6 days along, we lost the baby. It was painful physically and emotionally. Our estimated due date was going to be July 11, 2011.

I learned so much from this experience, and most of it was for the good. I still get down and sad about this little life that we lost, but God has taught me a lot through it. I don't have time to share all of that now. I will write again soon, because it's all really good stuff. What you mostly need to know is that, after a few days of tears and "why's" and a sadness I only barely touched but had never known, I asked Michael if he would help me take down our little blank stocking from above the fireplace. He obliged, and together we folded it up and put it away. Then, he turned to me and said, "You know what Amy? There is a good chance that next year, at this time, there will be a name on that stocking."
And that put it all in perspective. And even if we end up like others I have talked to who took a while to conceive again after miscarriage, or if we end up like those who got pregnant very soon, God is good in it all and we trust him.

For now, Michael and I have to pack for our big 2 year anniversary get-away (a month delayed) at Kalihari Resort in Sandusky, Ohio. I'm looking forward to lazy rivers, caramel apples, and time with my best friend.